Thursday, April 30, 2009

Marmaduke has been hypnotized by Neighbor-Man's potbelly. Unfortunately for Neighbor-Man, Marmaduke has not been hypnotized into thinking he's a chicken, but into attacking anything that comes into his field of vision, much like Christian Bale.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Marmaduke is truly terrified by the Blue (previously confined to far off locations and only effecting others) that is slowly creeping towards his house. The Creeping Blue has turned the Neighbor-Family into zombie-like creatures, Marmaduke's only weakness.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Marmaduke is having an Ultra-Seizure is purgatory.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Marmaduke's Owner-Man was going to play ball with his children, but Marmaduke stole and buried the ball. Marmaduke's Owner-Man was relieved after he remembered his debilitating rheumatoid arthritis makes it impossible for him to grip a ball.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Marmaduke is having a seizure on his Owner-Lady's bed. She has no idea what a seizure looks like in a dog and assumes that he is merely being an asshole. Marmaduke will take revenge when, and if, he regains movement in his legs.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Anderson's are aware that a product called 'Xbox' exists and that it was once popular among children. They are not aware that no child alive today would actually want an Xbox and than if even if one did possess such an item, they would never trade it for a dog. Especially not one that has homicidal tendencies.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Marmaduke is indistinguishable from his Owner-Man when he's inside you.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Marmaduke is digging a basement for his dog-house. His Owner-Man is hoping he'll hit a gas leak and explode so the tyranny will end. It will not.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Marmaduke is terrorizing an unknown man. This man, besides being a Jon Meacham fan, is wholly unaware that Marmaduke is not a visitor and is, in fact, a demon spawned from Satan's own loins.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Marmaduke's Owner-Man has just looked into the Ark of the Covenant. Also, he's a chauvinist pig.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Marmaduke is sorry for eating all the buffalo wings. He'll be even more sorry in a few hours when they make their next appearance.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

After having been denied for his previous loan, Marmaduke is now trying to scam the student finance branch of 1st Bank. Marmaduke has also increased in mass again in an attempt to look more imposing to the loan officer in the hopes of being approved for his 'school' loan.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Exciting news, everyone! There is now a message board for xy Explains Marmaduke for the Masses. Go there and enjoy!

Marmaduke has mistaken an officer of the law (who says that anymore?) for the ass of another dog. He cannot be blamed for this mistake as many officers of the law are, in fact, assholes (especially the ones that call themselves an officer of the law, just say cop or police officer, douchebag).

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Marmaduke's legs could snap at any moment because, unlike the rest of his body, they do not grow proportionally when he changes his mass.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Marmaduke missed with his initial bite. The child's death will be much more painful as a result, what with all the sexual assault.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Marmaduke is confused. Doesn't everybody used bones for money these days? I mean, the exchange rate clearly favors the bone over the dollar.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Marmaduke has increased in size by a factor of 2 but Zelda the Clairvoyant/Fortune Teller/Palm Reader doesn't see this as a reason to acquiesce to his request. Probably because she an ex-con on parole for palm-reading fraud.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Marmaduke is running a Hotel for Dogs. This hotel will be more like the Bates Motel than the one from the children's movie except for the men-in-women's-clothing and mummy angles.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Marmaduke's star ho didn't turn enough tricks today.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Marmaduke is one cool customer.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Contrary to Marmaduke's Owner-Family's thoughts, Marmaduke is our only hope of solving the economic crisis.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Marmaduke will soon be subjected to such messages as 'Marmaduke is an asshole'.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Marmaduke's Owner-Family doesn't realize how lucky it is that Marmaduke has been trapped outside.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Marmaduke has used his dark powers to open a dimensional gate. Marmaduke's Owner-Man is of a lower order of consciousness and ,therefore, cannot see this gate even though he is being sucked into it.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Marmaduke's Owner-Man is trying to get revenge for all the sexual abuse he has suffered at the paw of Marmaduke. Little does he realize that Marmaduke is merely pretending to sleep and will ruin Owner-Man with his anger.