Marmaduke's Owner-Lady is showing signs of awareness for the first time in years. She will need to be reconditioned in Marmaduke's House of Horrors.

Marmaduke, affectionately called Marm by Owner-Lady, has lost Owner-Man on the daily walk. Owner-Lady wants to know where Marm thinks all his Owner-Men come from because she has to clone him everytime Marm kills him or cripples him and leaves him to die.

Marmaduke waited to eat his Barfo brand dogfood so as to annoy his owner's to the fullest.

Isn't he just the most devious dog there is?

Marmaduke has been mistaken for a human criminal by the police and judicial system in his town. At least they got one part right.

Marmaduke plans on taking a new route for his daily drag Owner-Man hour, aka walk. Owner-Man fears that the new route will take them deep into the ocean and that the Coast Guard should be notified if they do not return. But Marmaduke isn't so stupid as to endanger his own life, he's merely taking Owner-Man to a secluded place where things shall be done. Only Marmaduke knows for sure what they might be.

Or

Marmaduke's Owner-Man is exaggerating how much it is raining.

Marmaduke is 'accidentally' stepping into the bathroom and catching his Owner-Lady in a compromising position.

It's not compromising because she's in the tub, it's compromising because Marmaduke hates when people masturbate in his house.

I'm sorry, but this is too retarded for even me to come up with something.

Once again, Marmaduke wants to go swimming.

Marmaduke has trained his Owner-Man to have a seizure whenever he barks. This causes hilarity when Marmaduke barks and Owner-Man is holding something, such as water, near his head.

Marmaduke is slowly becoming people.

Marmaduke's Owner-Lady has grown so used Marmaduke destroying things and eating other things that she gets concerned when he decides to take a day off.

Marmaduke has eaten some poisonous mushrooms and is hallucinating that he is about to eat the last leprechaun thereby putting another species on his list of creatures he has personally extincted.

Marmaduke is amazed that someone whose lot in life is to sell brushes door-to-door would have enough foresight to carry something to scare dogs, the door-to-door salesman's worst enemy.

Marmaduke is fascinated by a twirling hand. For now.

Marmaduke thinks he is Lassie.

Marmaduke is not playing dead. The shell that we recognize as Marmaduke is merely empty and awaiting a new demon to inhabit it at which point it will likely eat the veterinarian's hand as he or she performs routine examinations.

Maramduke is attempting to be nice to his Owner-Man for reasons unknown. Marmaduke's Owner-Man is mistaking this for one of Marmaduke's attempts to annoy and/or crush Owner-Man's pelvis.

Marmaduke's ex-wife has found him after 3 years of searching. Needless to say, she is going to take Marmaduke to the cleaners for all the alimony he owes her.

There are two options before me: 1. That is the smallest street-legal car ever made and is being driven by tiny, tiny people. 2. Marmaduke has increased in size by a factor of 4. He now weighs over 700 pounds and stands more than 6 feet tall.

No matter what you choose to believe, Marmaduke will soon attempt to mate with the car with devastating results for the tiny people inside.

Marmaduke is in love with meat.


Yes, that is a gay joke. A gay dog joke.